What the Blog Did We Get Ourselves Into?!

Distillers, today is the day that I officially introduce you to my sassy, beautiful girlfriend — or at least to her writing about how she really feels about all this blog business.

This post marks our official submission into the Bloggers’ Spouse Support Group. To view more details about the group, check out The Green Swan’s page or Apathy End’s page.

Without further ado, here’s her post:

You know that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think about your spouse shutting the hell up about the blog?

Of course you do. You’re a blogger’s wife. Even though you will support, advise, encourage, and praise your husband’s passion and pursuit of financial independence, you’re also going to lose your shit if you have to entertain just one more conversation about proofreading.

I, myself, am not a wife… yet, but fate should have it that my partner in life has chosen a path of blogging. Lucky for me, the BS Support Group is a network of women who find themselves in the same predicament. 

Ladies, we need each other because, as my doctor put it, “Drinking wine won’t make his blog go away.”

We are in a unique situation because, in all likelihood, we didn’t choose the blog life for ourselves. The blog life chose us. One day, while enjoying all the commercial-free bliss that HuluPlus has to offer, your husband mentioned something like, “I think I’m going to start a blog.”

In solidarity, you waited until the opportune time to pause your favorite show, and said, “I’m so happy that you’re finally doing that thing that you’ve always wanted to do.”

Unbeknownst to you, you just subscribed to a daily Newsletter that I like to call The Daily Blog Chronicles. Everyday is an update related to your husband’s blog; 30 new Twitter followers, 347 new site views, 5 new comments, 6 replies to new comments, how many times the [insert popular FI blogger] engaged on social media, and etc.

Are you looking for an “Unsubscribe” button yet?

There isn’t one. And that’s what brings us here.

What our spouses didn’t tell us and what we quickly came to realize is that we are unforeseen casualties in the process that is getting a blog started and keeping it going.

When they are frustrated, we listen to them vent. When they hit writer’s block, we bounce ideas around with them. When they finally get a post written, we proofread and edit. We remind them that what they are doing is valuable and encourage them to keep going.

No matter how you look at it, running a blog is a lot of work. More work than he thought it would be when he decided to do it and asked you to help.

Once I realized this, The Master Distiller and I had a serious talk about how much of my time I was truly comfortable with donating to something that is not my passion or calling in life. After leveraging hours of massages and confirming the eventual adoption of a second cat, we came to an agreement.

These days we have a schedule for when article are due to me for proofreading. We also have ground rules about how many days of the week The Master can talk about his craft.

At some point, I started to feel like talking about the blog was all that we ever talked about anymore. I wanted us to get back to the balance of spending as much time talking about his passion as we did about mine.

I actually spend some time introspecting and asking myself, “Well, what am I passionate about?”

Watching TV probably takes up most of my leisure time, but that’s not what makes me get up in the morning. I mean, I love Grey’s Anatomy, but I can’t spend more than 20 minutes talking about last week’s episode.

My advice to you, fellow Spouses, is to really search and find your own thing. Find what you can’t stop talking about and be fair to yourself when it comes to drawing the line. His blog is his dream and his passion — the only way to avoid feeling annoyed by it is to find your own.

I picked up what I thought would be a neat hobby — candle making. Turned out, I’m one crafty bitch and I’m real good at it. My practice grew into a passion and the purpose behind became to help shelter animals. I opened an Etsy shop and, in doing so, I created a vehicle that allowed me to generate proceeds. Today, these proceeds provide the means to fuel my passion of helping homeless animals by supporting local shelters.

I still proofread way too much, but now, when I make a sale, I get it.

This is how Matt feels when he gets a new subscriber or reads a comment about how his blog is having a positive effect on someone’s life.

It feels good to see your work get recognized and it feels good to see the impact it makes in your community.

Now The Master Distiller and The Candle Maker support each other; we talk about how proud we are of one another, just like a pair of spouses ought to.


13 comments… add one
  • Apathy Ends Jun 3, 2016, 6:35 am

    Welcome to the group!

    The Etsy shop for animal shelters is awesome! Our dog is from a rescue in Minneapolis – they do an amazing job savings animals

  • The Green Swan Jun 3, 2016, 7:04 am

    Dear Candle Maker,

    Welcome to the support group! Your entire post really hit home for me… until you got to the part about being crafty, which I am not. Thank you for understanding and vocalizing frustrations about proof reading (I did not excel in English class) and your call to action to find our own passion. I think this is great advice and something I need to pursue.

    Also, any good Netflix shows you might recommend? 🙂

    Mrs. Green Swan

  • ZJ Thorne Jun 3, 2016, 10:40 am

    I’m really lucky that my girlfriend is a former and future blogger. I get great advice and enthusiasm from her. But, her days are more interesting than mine and we talk about everyone’s passions. Balance is important. Well done setting boundaries!

  • FinanceSuperhero Jun 3, 2016, 11:07 am

    On behalf of Mrs. Superhero, welcome to the group, Candle Maker! You had us both in stitches over here.

    Navigating the time balance between work and play is tricky, but it sounds like you are going about it the right way by considering each others’ needs.

  • Ms. Montana Jun 3, 2016, 11:35 am

    Oh my goodness. This was so funny and so true. We are only a month in, but I think the Hubs is having serious questions! Not only is he the editor, but he also takes 3 kids (4 and under) shopping while I write a for an hour or two. That’s a lot of love there! Truth be told, I would rather be attacked by a raccoon than take the three youngest to the store!

  • Miss Thrifty Jun 3, 2016, 12:48 pm

    This is splendid!

  • Jon Jun 3, 2016, 1:15 pm

    Great post and I love your sense of humor! My blog is launching in about a month and my wife has already volunteered to be “senior editor” and “art director” both! I’m not sure that she knows what she’s gotten herself into, but I’m hoping we’ll have a lot of fun with it.

    I think it is really great how you are helping the shelter animals. We picked up our first shelter dog in 1997, right after we were married and then just got another one a couple of years ago. They have been nothing but fantastic!

  • Kalie @ Pretend to Be Poor Jun 6, 2016, 7:00 am

    Love it, very funny! This sheds some light on my husband’s reactions to me asking him to write his “guest” car post, or proofreading another post. For the record, he’s the one that convinced me to start the blog, though!

  • Patrick Jun 7, 2016, 2:58 pm

    Great post! I love personal finance, but I’m not a great writer, and I’m more about doing than writing about doing. I always thought about a blog, and then told myself “then you have to maintain it, like your 706 other hobbies”…That’s where the idea of writing a blog stopped, and reading them occasionally stayed. I’m sure the future Mrs. PC will be thankful.

    Great perspective, and HUGE thumbs up for the shelter Etsy store!

  • Financial Slacker Jun 7, 2016, 4:10 pm

    Great to hear the spouse perspective.

    My site started very slowly while on vacation. There wasn’t really much to the start. It just happened. Since then, the site has grown to consume more and more of my time.

    Ms. Financial Slacker has a pretty demanding day job so I really try not to spend too much time discussing the site with her. But it’s difficult not to when I’m sitting on the couch next to her with the TV on typing away on the laptop.

    Between the job, our kids, and our two new puppies, I’m not sure she will be writing a guest post anytime soon, but you never know.

    Nice job!

  • PatientWealthBuilder Jun 7, 2016, 8:33 pm

    funny! My wife is much less involved in my blog and encourages me every day! She encourages me to stop wasting my time blogging!!

    You guys should get married and make it official – how about a post on that? Hopefully that isn’t offensive but I like to speak my mind.

  • Lisa Jun 8, 2016, 5:47 pm

    This is hilarious! My husband just started a blog – I think he caught the blogging bug from me!

  • Graham @ Reverse the Crush Jun 9, 2016, 2:28 pm

    Wow! I can’t help but notice the similarities to myself and my girlfriend. It’s actually uncanny.
    I started my blog just over 6 months ago and had her proofreading and even writing posts. We tried doing things like wine reviews to make it something mutual so I wasn’t always updating her on finance stuff or stats she didn’t care about.

    But there’s so many things here that are relatable. The wine, the cat, financial independence, massages, the blog, and even the candles. Recently my girlfriend started her own candle company called Serenity Now Candles. I must say, I’ve seen the work behind the scenes and they look incredible! But like you guys, we are both supporting each other.

    Side note: One trick that has alleviated some of her editing duties is the speech function if you have a Mac. Just double click the trackpad and then click (start speaking) and it will read it out loud to you. I find it really helps.

    Thanks for sharing this post though! Keep it up.

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