Distillers, today is the day that I officially introduce you to my sassy, beautiful girlfriend — or at least to her writing about how she really feels about all this blog business.
Without further ado, here’s her post:
You know that warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think about your spouse shutting the hell up about the blog?
Of course you do. You’re a blogger’s wife. Even though you will support, advise, encourage, and praise your husband’s passion and pursuit of financial independence, you’re also going to lose your shit if you have to entertain just one more conversation about proofreading.
I, myself, am not a wife… yet, but fate should have it that my partner in life has chosen a path of blogging. Lucky for me, the BS Support Group is a network of women who find themselves in the same predicament.
Ladies, we need each other because, as my doctor put it, “Drinking wine won’t make his blog go away.”
We are in a unique situation because, in all likelihood, we didn’t choose the blog life for ourselves. The blog life chose us. One day, while enjoying all the commercial-free bliss that HuluPlus has to offer, your husband mentioned something like, “I think I’m going to start a blog.”
In solidarity, you waited until the opportune time to pause your favorite show, and said, “I’m so happy that you’re finally doing that thing that you’ve always wanted to do.”
Unbeknownst to you, you just subscribed to a daily Newsletter that I like to call The Daily Blog Chronicles. Everyday is an update related to your husband’s blog; 30 new Twitter followers, 347 new site views, 5 new comments, 6 replies to new comments, how many times the [insert popular FI blogger] engaged on social media, and etc.
Are you looking for an “Unsubscribe” button yet?
There isn’t one. And that’s what brings us here.
What our spouses didn’t tell us and what we quickly came to realize is that we are unforeseen casualties in the process that is getting a blog started and keeping it going.
When they are frustrated, we listen to them vent. When they hit writer’s block, we bounce ideas around with them. When they finally get a post written, we proofread and edit. We remind them that what they are doing is valuable and encourage them to keep going.
No matter how you look at it, running a blog is a lot of work. More work than he thought it would be when he decided to do it and asked you to help.
Once I realized this, The Master Distiller and I had a serious talk about how much of my time I was truly comfortable with donating to something that is not my passion or calling in life. After leveraging hours of massages and confirming the eventual adoption of a second cat, we came to an agreement.
These days we have a schedule for when article are due to me for proofreading. We also have ground rules about how many days of the week The Master can talk about his craft.
At some point, I started to feel like talking about the blog was all that we ever talked about anymore. I wanted us to get back to the balance of spending as much time talking about his passion as we did about mine.
I actually spend some time introspecting and asking myself, “Well, what am I passionate about?”
Watching TV probably takes up most of my leisure time, but that’s not what makes me get up in the morning. I mean, I love Grey’s Anatomy, but I can’t spend more than 20 minutes talking about last week’s episode.
My advice to you, fellow Spouses, is to really search and find your own thing. Find what you can’t stop talking about and be fair to yourself when it comes to drawing the line. His blog is his dream and his passion — the only way to avoid feeling annoyed by it is to find your own.
I picked up what I thought would be a neat hobby — candle making. Turned out, I’m one crafty bitch and I’m real good at it. My practice grew into a passion and the purpose behind became to help shelter animals. I opened an Etsy shop and, in doing so, I created a vehicle that allowed me to generate proceeds. Today, these proceeds provide the means to fuel my passion of helping homeless animals by supporting local shelters.
I still proofread way too much, but now, when I make a sale, I get it.
This is how Matt feels when he gets a new subscriber or reads a comment about how his blog is having a positive effect on someone’s life.
It feels good to see your work get recognized and it feels good to see the impact it makes in your community.
Now The Master Distiller and The Candle Maker support each other; we talk about how proud we are of one another, just like a pair of spouses ought to.